I’ve created Facebook accounts for three of my children. Here are the steps I use to create accounts with privacy settings that ensure my child isn’t easily found nor information about him or her.

To create your account, just go to Facebook.com and fill out the form that appears on the page. You’ll need to make two decisions right up front:

What name to use
You have to supply a first and last name. (Note: Facebook is picky. It doesn’t let you enter multiple capital letters, certain punctuation, etc.)

You’ll need to decide whether to use your child’s name, a fake name, or a nickname. I’d suggest using your child’s real name. You can use privacy settings to make your child hard to find for now. As he or she ages, though, your child will want to (and should) become more visible and discoverable through search. After accumulating friends, posting photos, and building a Facebook life, your child isn’t going to want to create a whole new account with his or her real name, later.

What email to use
You also have to supply an email address. The email is used for logging in to Facebook, and it’s where Facebook sends notifications such as new friend requests. You might be inclined to use your own email address for younger kids, but remember that you’ll get all those notifications. If you’re regularly monitoring your child’s account, you won’t need to receive those notifications in order to know who they’ve friended and so on. A better approach might be to let your child receive them and help your child learn what to do in response to the messages—such as decide whether or not to friend someone

You’ll also need to enter your child’s birth date. (Don’t worry, you can hide the year, later.) Remember that Facebook is for those age 13 and older. When you enter a birth date, it checks to make sure the user is at least 13, and will deny the account if the birth date reflects an underage user.

Rules to consider: Depending on the age of your child, you might want to require access to the account. I know the password to my younger childrens’ accounts. I have full access and regularly log in to check their and their friend’s postings and to check and update security settings. Obviously, as kids get older, you need to relinquish unlimited access.

After you create the account, you (or your child) will receive an email with a link that you’ll need to click in order to activate the account. At that point, you can create the profile.

Steps in Facebook

Facebook will walk through the next steps to create your account. In Step 1, it  lets you enter an email and password to find friends through email. If your child is older and uses email with friends, you might want to do this. Otherwise, click Skip this step. (You can always do this later.)
StepScreen

In Step 2, you begin filling in Profile information for your child. Facebook asks for information about the school or company of the account holder. How you handle this probably depends upon your child’s age:

  • For younger children, I suggest you don’t specify any information about their school. My goal is to reduce visibility of my younger children, and make as little information as possible available about them. Just click Skip, if you don’t want to enter information.
  • Older children (high school age) want friends and acquaintances to be able to find them. This is also the age when you need to start giving your child more online freedom, while teaching them how to handle it safely. So, I enter school information for my older children.

In Step 3, you can upload a picture of your child as their profile picture. You might be inclined not to load a picture. But the picture is one of the main ways that you can recognize a friend on Facebook. (With 450 million users, there are lots of duplicate names.) Also, a big part of the fun for kids is changing their profile pictures.

Setting up your Profile

After you go through these steps, you’ll see a menu in the body of the page.

FBmenu

Click View and edit your profile to set up your child’s profile. If you don’t see this screen, just click your child’s name in the menu bar, and then click the Info tab.

Basic Profile Info

For younger children, I recommend:

  • In the dropdown under Birthday, select Show only month & day in my profile.
  • Don’t enter anything in any of the other fields. This will ensure that anyone finding your child’s name and picture doesn’t also see info about where your child lives or who is related to them on Facebook (where they can check the hometown info).

For older children:

  • You might or might not choose to show the year of birth.
  • I did show hometown information, but left the rest of the fields blank.

Under the Basic Information section is a Personal Information section, where your child can enter their interests, etc. Most kids will want to do this.

Personal Information

Learning opportunity: This is an opportunity to talk with your child about the fact that strangers can pose as kids or friends of friends, and could use this personal information to pretend to be someone else or to like what your child likes.

Below that is Contact Information, such as IM name, phone number, and address info. You can set who can see each of these. You’ll have to decide what you information you’re comfortable sharing and with whom. To set the privacy for a piece of information, click the little lock icon next to it:

ContactInfo2

 

If you select Only Friends,, only people that your child has allowed to become Facebook friends, can see that piece of contact information. If you choose Friends of Friends, then the Facebook Friends of any of your child’s Facebook Friends can also see the info.

Note that the email you entered for your child when you set up his or her account appears. (It’s blurred out in the image above.) I didn’t want anyone to be able to see my children’s emails. They have to specifically give out their email to friends.

To set the email (or any other info you enter) so that nobody can see it:

  1. Click the lock and then click Customize.
  2. You’ll see the Custom Privacy dialog. In the Make this visible to dropdown, select Only Me.

Custom Privacy Dialog

Finally, there’s an Education and Work area. I didn’t enter anything here for my children.

When you’re all finished, click Done Editing.

Facebook Ads Settings

Next, you should set basic protections for your child.

In the left side of the menu bar, click Settings, and then choose Account Settings. Some tabs appear on the body of the page. Click the right-most tab, Facebook Ads. You’ll see a section titled Ads shown by third party applications.

There is a possibility of some applications showing ads and using the pictures your child posts in the ads, at least when Facebook shows the ads on friends’ pages. To preclude that possibility, in the drop-down Allow ads on platform pages to show my information to, select No one.

Scroll down on the page, if necessary, to see the drop-down Show my social actions in Facebook Ads to, and select No one. Then, click Save Changes below that box.

Search Settings

There’s one last important step. In the left side of the menu bar, click Settings, and then choose Privacy Settings. You’ll see a list of settings. Click Search.

Privacy
Facebook Search Results specifies who can search for and find your child from within Facebook:

  • If you set this to Only Friends, it’s pretty much impossible for anyone to find your child searching within Facebook. Your child will have to be the one to Friend people, for the most part.
  • If you choose Friends of Friends, then people who are friends of the people your child has friended can search for him or her. (For example, your child friends Sammy on Facebook. Sammy has friended Jamie. Your child knows Jamie, too. Jamie can see your child in Search, because Sammy is your child’s Facebook friend.) This is probably a reasonable setting for even younger children, as it makes it possible for their schoolmates to find them, but still hides them for the most part.

Public Search Results specifies whether someone searching through Google, Bing, and the like can get your child’s Facebook page in the search results. I suggest you uncheck the Allow box for any child.

Verify the Profile View

Finally, when you’re done, you can check what a stranger can see. In the left side of the menu bar, click Settings, and then choose Privacy Settings. From the list, choose Profile Information. In the gray bar, to the right, click Preview My Profile.

You’ll see what your child’s profile looks like to someone who hasn’t been friended by him/her yet. Remember, though, that depending upon what you set under Search, your child may be hard to even find on Facebook.

Now your child’s account is established and basic protections are in place. There are other privacy settings you’ll want to adjust, such as who can see photos your child posts, who can post on their wall, and who can view which posts. I’ll cover those in a follow-up article. Join my Parenting and Social Media page in Facebook to be notified about them and for other articles and discussions about how to help your children use social media wisely and safely.

Parenting and Social Media fan page:

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Last week I attended my first Twitter conference, here in Seattle. Several times during the conference, I heard statements such as, “If you aren’t using Twitter to converse, then you aren’t using it right,” “automation castrates Twitter,” and the usual “you should follow back everyone who follows you.” I was a little surprised and irritated to continue hearing these black and white statements.Finger Wagging

Later, on LinkedIn, I posted in several groups about my latest blog article. I had written about a tool I use that I find very helpful and thought others might find useful, too. I posted in the Discussion area of the groups, and kept it short.

The first comment I got was from someone indirectly complaining that I didn’t include a question with my LinkedIn post. Some back and forth discussion ensued, with other people weighing in, as well. The person who originated the comment thought that it was inappropriate to post without a question, because this was the Discussion area. To him, the point is to elicit a discussion and the content in LinkedIn should stand by itself. Any link to external content should be purely supplementary.

As I mentioned in the thread, though, my goal in using LinkedIn Discussions is different:

I receive the digests from all the groups I’m in, and I scan them regularly for useful information. I only scan the discussions, as I get my news from other sources. I’m always looking for good, informative blog posts in the discussions lists, that my followers might be interested in.”

Hence:

“My goal in posting to discussions is to do the same for others: provide useful information that can aid them or that they might want to share with others.”

It’s this difference in goals that made us choose different methods of posting. Likewise, when the speaker at the #140tc conference said, “Automation castrates Twitter,” my first thought was “BS.” I get great information through the individuals tweeting on Twitter. I also get great information from automated feeds that tweet links and headlines. That’s a case where automation empowers Twitter.

What History Teaches Us

I have a background in usability and user experience. I’ve conducted and observed quite a few usability tests. If you’ve never observed people using your website or product, I highly recommend watching them (without commenting or interfering in any way).

One of the first things any usability person learns is that people frequently use products/sites in ways the designers never foresaw nor intended. Those uses are often novel, ingenious, and can lead to changes in product direction that can make the product even more profitable or open whole new markets.

Social networks are no different. There is no right or wrong way to use Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Yes, there may be less common or acceptable ways. Luckily, the very structure of “social” networks ensures feedback and penalties that tend to limit less acceptable uses. It’s a shame, though, when people feel the need to make blanket statements about how you should and shouldn’t use a social network, a comment area, or other community features. It’s especially shameful when experts, speakers, and panel members lay down rules as though they are gospel. Doing so falsely implies to newcomers that there are right and wrong methods.

The earliest creators of the internet and HTML could never have envisioned the web we know today. Thank goodness they didn’t dictate rules that prohibited users and developers from trying new things, pushing the limits and seeing what works–or we might never have gotten to Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter.

So I say, quit yer bitchin and dictat’n. Let’s show a little more tolerance, assume there is no right or wrong, and see just what exciting places we go to next!

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Over the course of eight months, I conducted a survey of 336 internet users. I asked users a number of questions, ranging from the users’ original perceptions of how Twitter might help them to what daily activities they performed on Twitter. Some interesting results arose regarding Twitter Quitters.
The survey was conducted with:

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Five Reasons I’m Getting My Kids on Facebook–Now

February 2, 2010

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When Is It SPAM–What Tweeps Say

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A few months ago I wrote a post about the sometimes fine-line between SPAM and acceptable promotional posts/tweets. I also kicked off a small survey to find out what other people’s perceptions were. When asked “On Social Networks, do you think any outright promotion of a product or business is spam?” 24%  responded yes. The majority, however, [...]

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Protecting Your Child in Facebook–Photos

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As a parent, I’m concerned about who can see the photos I post on Facebook. In particular, I’m concerned about who can see pictures of my kids. Now that several of my children have their own Facebook accounts, I’m also concerned about the photos they and their friends post, which might make them easy for a predator [...]

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